In the near future, the Taoiseach announces that they have sold Dublin to corporate investors who plan on turning it into a Dublin-themed theme park, offering an experience as “more Irish than Ireland itself.” At the press conference launching the scheme, the Taoiseach and the billionaire who bought the city explain why this dystopian plan is in fact a great advancement for industry, tourism and culture.

Think about it… wouldn’t it be cool to take a rollercoaster to work instead of the Luas? Wouldn’t you like to be paid just to be Irish? Don’t you want to live your whole life as a Truman Show-esque performance for the benefit of leprechaun-hunting tourists? No? Well too late, because it’s happening anyway!